Broken Lives
by Greeneyedsummer
Summary: The war is over the First is gone but so is everyone else except for Xander and Dawn. Each dealing with there own pain they have to much hurt to feel love again,or do they. My first angsty fic enjoy XanderDawn pairing.
1. Default Chapter

Death Becomes Us All.

Disclaimer: I own nothing all hail Joss.

Authors Note: Wile this is not my first fanfiction this is my first Xander fanfic and my first fic with any real angst. So please review the good the bad the ugly, but please no flamers for they are pointless.

Xander Harris woke up with a headache like none other. His whole body was tell him to reach back into the serenity of sleep, but that was something he couldn't do. He was leaving today for New York and he couldn't miss his flight.

He needed to get out of here, he needed to start over. It would be different there, he would be able to walk outside with out the constant reminder of them. With out seeing them there in front of him just out of his reach. He knew they would hunt him no matter were he went but he was hoping that starting over would lessen his pain, his quilt for being one of the few left behind. Three people out of them all that was all that had survived.

He was glad that he wasn't the only one. He loved Dawn and he didn't totally despise Angel, but after all that happened it hurt. It hurt to look at them, they stood as a constant remind to each other of what they had lost. That's why he had to leave he had to make that plane. Dawn would stay with Angel he could take better care of her. She would be hurt he knew but there was no way getting around it she couldn't come, she was to young and needed something more stable.

He knew he was being selfish, knew that the reason for her staying wasn't truly her age or mind set it was the fact that he loved her. It was that simple, and he felt that as long as they were together she would end up getting hurt or worse. You see that's how it worked he loved some one and they died. He couldn't let that happen to Dawn, or anyone else ever again. He would let no one else died because of his love.

Xander was out of the shower and getting dressed when the phone rang. He dropped the towel he had been drying his hair with on the bed and went to answer it.

"Hello."

"Hello, Xander is that you. This is Dawn."

Xander shut his eyes tightly. The memories he had been holding at bay all morning came rushing back with a force that brought tears to his eyes. He took a moment to calm him self before responding.

"Hello Dawn, is there something I can do for you?"

"Um Xander I know your suppose to be leaving this morning, I mean I know I wasn't suppose to know until after you left but Angel told me. And well something's happened Xander I need you to come to the hotel."

Xander noticed a shake in her voice he couldn't tell if is was the fact that Angel had told her of his leaving of if it was fear, either way it hurt him to hear it.

" What's happened, are you ok."

"I'm fine, but well....Angel he's ...."

"He's what Dawn."

"He's dead Xander, he's really really dead."

At this point she broke out in tears. Xander wanted to, to but he couldn't he needed more answers and then he needed to get to Dawn.

"Dawn what happened are you some wear safe. Is there someone there with you."

"I'm ok, I'm in the basement. But there's no one hear and I so afraid. Xander please I'm so scared."

"Ok Dawn, I'll be there soon just hold on I'll be there."

He hung up quickly and went and grabbed his bag. He was in the car and driving towards the hotel as quick as he could. He had wanted to tell it would be ok, that it would all work out. But he knew it wouldn't and he couldn't bring himself to lie. It wouldn't be ok, never again would anything be ok.


	2. Leaving Town

Leaving Town

Disclaimer: Again I own nothing Joss owns all.

Authors Note: Please Review I'm curious to know if anyone likes it.

He was there rushing in the door running down the stairs. He saw her there in the darkest corner of the room curled up into a ball. He looked there at her and his heart broke again. She looked so small and weak there so scarred. He rushed to her lifting her up in his arms.

"I'm here Dawn, I'm here and I'm gonna get you out of here."

She just nodded her head and curled into him holding tight. He slowly made his way up the stairs and out to the car, he lifted her into the car then went back inside to get some of her things. On his way out he grabbed a weapon out of the cabinet. Just in case he thought. Just in case. He threw the stuff in the car as he reached it and slid into the front seat. As soon as he was in the car Dawn slid over so the she was laying into him getting all the comfort she could from him. He saw from the corner of his eye the tears streaming down. After a while he couldn't take it anymore and pulled he on to his lap and he held he while she cried till she couldn't cry anymore.

When she began to stop he rubbed her back and pulled her face up so he could look in her eyes.

"I know your hurting right know Dawnie so I wont ask you to explain but soon your going to have to tell me what's going on."

She shivers a little but nods her head against his should. He kisses her hair then moves her so she lower on his lap and he can drive.

"We better get out of here Dawn while we still can."

He waits for her nod of agreement and when he gets none he looks down to see that she had fallen asleep there on his lap.

"That's ok Dawn.' He says more to him self than to her. "From now I'll take care of you, I'll always take care of you.

They continued to drive till they reached a motel in some little town. Xander hadn't taken the time to notice and frankly he didn't care it was pitch black out and he was excused. He felt that here was far enough away for them to stop for the night and sleep.

He went in and got a room before he came out and lifted the still sleeping Dawn from the car. He toke her in to the small cramped room that was dingy but thankfully clean. He laid her on the bed and left to bring a few items in. He went to the bathroom and changed before coming out to sleep on the bed next to Dawns.

"Xander."

"Yes."

"Please don't leave me by myself, will you sleep with me."

"Sure Dawnie."

He climbed into bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. Kissed the top of her head before laying back to welcome sleep. When at first he woke he wasn't sure were he was at or exactly who was in his arms. But then the day before came rushing back to him, he looked down at Dawn. He rubbed the top of her head with his hand before gentle getting out of the bed. He walked back to the bathroom and got into the shower. He let the hot water run over him and cleanse him of his thoughts. He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. He dried him self and began to look around for his clothes when he remembered he left them out on the dresser. He again wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out into the room. He shut the door behind him and turned around. What he saw gave him a start.

Dawn had gotten up and was in the process of changing when Xander walked out of the bathroom in a towel. She heard the door shut and turned around quickly. Seeing him there she eked and dropped the tea shirt she was about to pull over her head. Xander stood there a moment, part of his brain telling him it was very wrong to have any thought other than sisterly towards Dawn. The other part screaming at what he saw. She was seventeen now and had grown a bit. Her long brunette hair swept down her back, her round face and held the cutest eyes and fullest mouth, while her eyes shown an ice like blue. Her neck was slender and tempting while her breast were full and lush. His eyes swept down the past her navel to her long legs. He rushed his eyes back to her face ashamed. Dawn just stood there she never new that Xander was so well built, or would come across as so attractive. She took her time to look before it all sunk in and she rushed to grab her top off the floor.

"Um.... Dawn I'm sorry for not warning you." Xander hurriedly exclaimed. "I forgot my clothes out here." And with that he reached over and grabbed them before rushing back into the bathroom. Once there he let his head hit the back of the door as he tried to gather his thoughts.

This wasn't right this was Dawn and he was Xander. Yes so there was that one incident went he had saw he dancing at the Bronze, but he hadn't known it was her. Now he defiantly new it was her and shouldn't be having these thought not after all that's happened. Especially not after what's happened. He repeated this over and over to him self till he had the strength to get dressed and walk back out there luckily she was sitting on the bed dressed and ready to go.

Dawn had had thoughts of her own while she waited for Xander to come back out. How after all she'd been threw could she think of something like that. Especially about Xander. There must be something wrong with her very wrong.

Xander walked out of the bathroom and she school her features to show none of her thoughts. He wouldn't want her to be thinking of him in that way, they were friends. Friends who had been threw a lot.

Xander looked at her hoping she hadn't noticed his attention to her body earlier.

"You ready to get out of here." He asked.

"Very."


	3. Authors Note

Authors note:

I must beg your forgiveness about my not having updated. I must say that for a while there my muse was gone and I was left with nothing fitting to write, but now my muse is back and I hope to soon shower you with wonderful updates so that you may forgive me. Until then. -) 


	4. Sorry

Sorry to say that due to the lack of reviews I am dropping this story for now, so until later. Love you all, and hey I just might take this story to AdultFanfiction under the name Windowedeyes.


	5. Dear Readers

Dear readers,

Due to the lovely review that you all have sent me I have decided to move this story to my new site once it's up and running. I will post its address on here and I will also ask to please send me any stories Spike in general that you would like me to post there. Thanks so much.

Greeneyedsummer


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